my diary series #7

What is a Martyr? Someone who does things

purely so others will notice and tell

them how good they are. The complete

opposite of a healthy, happy way to live

life. I know I do things purely so others

will acknowledge it. I never realised it

would negatively impact others. I never

thought my neediness had a label. I

just assumed its who I was as a

person and it couldn’t be changed.

putting it all into perspective makes me

realise how difficult it must be to make

me feel worthy and how much pressure

is placed on others to

make me happy…

Generally as a person I feel like I’m

not good enough and I need to

learn how to make myself feel

worthy, to feel valid. The first step is to acknowledge what I’m doing

and remind myself I don’t need the

gratification of others to feel god.

I need to make myself feel good.

I need to love myself . the last

time I loved myself wholly was …

I felt free and loved by all

I want to be like that again. I

want to feel confident and happy

and satisfied with myself. I want my

actions to represent my opinions and

values. I want to be the confident

person I am on the inside and I

want to stop comparing myself to

others…

I want to feel worthy

I want to feel good enough for

myself. I want to love who I am

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